#WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT PHASE OF MY LIFE

[sunnynoki]

MFW A CRINGE OLD POST OF MINE GETS LIKED AAAAA

[shiftingtomydrs]

not me being the biggest hypocrite ever and scripting so much main character shit for me in my wag dr(s) when i know damn well i used to dislike wags for 'making' themselves the main character😭😭😭😭

[iicherrl]

gonna call it right now, 2025 ai art animatics are going to be the next gacha videos

[secretoreimo]

There is no opening so special as the Oreimo season 1 opening it goes so hard and never gets old!!!!

[nexus-nebulae]

would highly recommend maximum ride if you like Fucked Up Experiments trope. it does sometimes read like it was written by a preteen. and at a certain point (forget which book) we stopped reading because it started a romance arc between me and my BROTHER (we're not BIOLOGICALLY related but STILL-)

-max(imum ride)

if i had a nickel for every series my biosister tried to get me to read as a teen that had a pseudo-incestuous sibling relationship that i inevitably revisited as an adult- (currently about to read City of Bones)

[heyitslapis]

Oh I'm so lonely

[writtenbyhollywood]

Lee byung hun but situationship maybe? Pretty please 🙏

having a situationship with lee byung-hun

a/n: thank you for the request! I actually really loved this idea

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byunghun0712

liked by from_jjlee and others

byunghun0712 #미스터션샤인 #mrsunshine

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leebyunghunfan this is the first time I don’t see @/yourusername like his post

user1 @/leebyunghunfan probably because of the way he’s looking at the girl in the first picture

user2 interesting post…

yourstruly @/user2 bffr they’re just coworkers

user2 @/yourstruly are we looking at the same pictures ?

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriendsuser and others

yourusername book date with the bestie cuz men ain’t shit

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randomuser wait happened?? is she talking about byung-hun??

ilovedilfs @/randomuser I really hope not

girlblogger y’all are overreacting. they never said they were together

ohfish @/girlblogger they’re prob just hooking up

yourbestfriendsuser hoes before bros

liked by author

userr12 I just noticed she unfollowed him omg…

yourusername

liked by byunghun0712 and others

yourusername if you don’t want me DON’T ACT LIKE YOU FUCKING WANT ME

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yourbestfriendsuser he don’t know what he’s missing out on

byunghunandyn I’m seriously wondering if they’re together or not

user_ @/byunhunandyn was the caption not clear enough for u?

iconiccuser we’ve all been there girly

user55 @/iconiccuser the strongest of soldier fr

user91 I get this on so many levels

user32 no way. He liked the post as if this wasn’t about him😭

yourusername

liked by byunghun0712 and others

yourusername im someone who forgives and forgets

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user1 STAND UP GIRL

marrymebyunghun who can blame her

byunghunswife @/marrymebyunghun I mean look at him

ynfan we get it dw

user31_ you’ll get out of that phase

ynfan4ever @/user31_ if my bf gave gifts like that I would forgive him without hesitation

user31_ @/ynfan4ever THEYRE NOT EVEN TOGETHER

ynfan4ever @/user31 YOU DONT KNOW THAT

user76 and the crowd is...confused?

byunghun0712

liked by yourusername and others

byunghun0712 cheers 🍻

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user12 guys… she’s following him again

byunghunfan @/user12 NOOOOO

stormshadowsabs leave my man alone

ynsfan @/stormshadowsabs tell him to leave our girl alone

hayyleee raw.

dilfenthusiast let's make love

azeala.aa all 10 fingers

yourusername

liked by byunghun0712 and others

yourusername saw lisa live!!!

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ynfan1 gorgeous

user09 are they together?

randomuser @/user09 yes and no

leahhhh.hhh till the bed breaks

user45 ahhh omg ur a lisa fan!!!

yourusername @/user45 well of course!

fckmeleebyunghun the jealousy im feeling...

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriendsuser and others

yourusername maybe the single life suits me better

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user08 bad bitch

ynfan02 girl what happened now

user34 I’m getting used to this now

byunhunfan this is more entertaining than my life

user12 well what did he do this time

leebyunghunswifey @/user12 why do u assume he’s the problem? Maybe it’s her

ynfanpage @/leebyunghunswifey men are always the problem. you’ll understand that when you’re older

user10 u may have lost ur man but at least ur hot

byunghun0712

liked by yourusername and others

byunghun0712 💪

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yourusername biting my lip

liked by author

user75 HIS ARMSSS

user12 now why is @/yourusername in the comments

byunghunswifey @/user12 Frl what are u doing

userr09 @/yourusername is so luckyyy

user98 can she not make up her mind ?

ynfan y’all are taking this too seriously. so what if they’re hooking up?

user23 @/ynfan exactly like they wouldn’t be the first to do so

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[oureddie]

is anyone else's brain just one big

what do we need him for? what's your problem man. what are we measuring here buck. you can have my back any day. i love kids. i love this one. they weren't my type. i thought you just dressed alike. buck gave me a heads up. does this boy crush on eddie mean you're finally ready to move on from abby. uh, you should meet his kid, though. i can see the pollen. i can hear it. ooooOOOOooo you made him cry. you dont find it son, you make it. you two have an adorable son. why are you in hospital jail. i got you. dear buck you are an awesome firefighter love christopher. GET UP your life isn't over just bc you arent a firefighter anymore. says the firefighter. there's nobody in this world that i trust with my son more than you. BECAUSE YOU'RE EXHAUSTING. did you ever stop and think for a minute what that could do to US. a total impulse buy, not like you at all. c'mon eddie if you're not gonna be honest with frank at least be honest with me. i could still take you. you think so? i know. wanna go for the title? uhhhh this is eddie's house im not really a guest. just wait until he gets to the 'i dont have to do what you tell me' phase. aren't you still in that phase. you hungry? wanna grab a bite after we drop him? weeeee have visitors cap. eddie!!!!!no!!!!!nonononnonoedddie!!!! CLAWS AT THE GROUND. you wanna do a rope rescue??? of course you do. i mean that wont happen to US. to abby. his fiance is ABBY. welp. at least it's not a tsunami. hey man you might want to talk to your kid about playing fair. buck can we go to your house and play video games. uhhhh sorry kid i think we might be kicking it old school for a while. he's on the phone with dr. copeland, emergency therapy session. what do you have to apologize for? did you say anything that wasn't true? yeah she's worried about me *drop kicks a punching bag* yeah can't imagine why. i had to do it. i know you did. trauma bag? yup. sorry whhaaaatttt was that? check. do you ever replay a conversation in your head and worry you sound like an idiot? have you met me. it's like the universe is scREAMING at you and you refuse to listen. the universe does not scream. am i interrupting book club. you're late. there was construction on sunset. had to take a detour. buck. buck you have to help chris is- right here. you sure that's a smile? that's the same face buck makes when he's gassy. but just be sure that you're following YOUR heart. *gets sniped* eddie- eddie i need you to hang on. are you hurt? where's buck? he's got a harder job tonight. the team feels off without eddie. he doing okay? better than me. i kind of lost it when i told him you got shot. hey since we've got a minute... uh is everything alright. it got me thinking. what would happen if i hadnt. so i went to my attorney and changed my will. so someday, if i uh, didn't make it, christopher would be taken care of. by you. don't you need my consent. my attorney said you could refuse. but you know i wouldn't. but you knew i wouldn't. because evAN. you act like you're expendable. but you're wrong. good idea. eddie really shouldn't be exerting himself right now. this isn't me an eddie bagging a turkey in south pasadena. he takes christopher there all the time, got the place memorized. my kid loves her. is that enough. ice goes on the eye bud. *gets kidnapped and held hostage together* my abuela would eat this up. she loves a good telenovela. oh cuz uhhh you don't? i know you watch them with christopher. that's how we practice our spanish. look man you don't need to pretend with me. buck you need to move on, i have. eddie get away from the door im coming in. what are you afraid of. that im never gonna feel normal again. buck already took him to school, figured you could use the sleep. chris drew this? uh, that one's mine i misunderstood the assignment. cuz he got the help he needed, and that started with you. i just wish i could- fix it? yeah. what are you offering? right now? bobby's famous lasagna. buck, you dont even have a couch. bUUUUCK where the hell are you going. you can live without a

spleen- right? she's gonna be ok. how did the age of absolutely turn into alfalfa smoothies? give me one second let me grab eddie. YO. i dont know. feels weird to congratulate him. alright cowbody go get em. BUCK!!!!! do more! i just feel like she sees me. sorry about this. yeah it's gonna suck. uh hey do you have any plans for the weekend? i was thinking about go-karting, place in the desert, supposed to be a blast. welcome back to the world of the living buck. you were missed. actually i was kind of hoping you would. i just dont want him to uh- end up like me? you didn't end up like you. hey cap, need a lift? you took the chevelle? how'd you talk him into this he always says no to me. like sea monkeys! in fact, i havent been able to uhhhh yeah since i found out. yeah. well i uhhh wish i could help with that! this doesn't change a thing between us. i thought you couldn't bring a date to a bachelor party. UBBBEEERRR!!!! we don't need a key we're firefighters. he's crockett he's tubbs. actually im crockett and HE'S tubbs. eddie who's kim. does that poor woman know she's a dead ringer for your ex wife. oh eddie. what you always do. talk to him. i dont wanna break down the door buck i want him to open it. well uh, he probably won't. ok well why does it have to be me? you're the fastest runner. we beat the bees! im guessing it's probably an allergic reaction of some kind. to what bad juju? you owe me five bucks eddie. i never watched glee. give it back im serious. we know you're serious that's what scares us. whatareyoulookinateddiehehehe. he knows how to stay, unlike some people. yup, i am freddie fakeman, you would do that for me? you and for christopher. mmmmm like it's nothing. it's not nothing. look i know this whole thing between us has been messy and hard. you do matter to me. i know. eddie would never do anything illegal eddie has a silver star!! you're his dad. he doesn't have a mom. if you don't damage him who will? dad up!! sorry i had to go to the airport to pick up this one. said i was gonna get groceries. it's fine. doesn't seem fine. the trials and tribulations of evan buckley. a tragedy in 97 acts. you've been spiraling since the funeral and nobody knows how to talk to you about it. i don't know buck i wasn't there. eddie- jerk. airport and texas are not the same. they don't even have the same amount of letters. heard some dick was being mean to you, thought you could use a little cheering up

or is that just me rn

[gemharvest]

(rdj meme format) This happened to me again.

Having to go back and edit wording slightly in this fic to make sure its clear that it takes place before romantic PicoGF.. ☹️

[smowyashe]

talked to the school councilor about gender stuff today, and honestly it really helped, i need to get my ass into therapy lmao, anyway she said something that i think a lot of yall (neurodivergent creatures) need to hear since this is the pronoun palace

she told me that people who are neurodivergent are less likely to be held down by societal conctrainst and things that neurotypical people consider to be normal, they just cant really comprehend it, and thats awesome because there's so much more freedom for exploration

because they arent as concerned with societal rules, they're more likely to experiment with their identity (be it gender, sexuality or otherwise) than neurotypical people, and at a younger age than most neurotypical people

thats why neurodiverse people are more likely to be genderqueer or polyamorous or alterhuman, and everything else considered by neurotypical people to be "weird" or "unusual"

experimentation, especially at a young age, is so important for a child's development, and we all experiment, for example, you may have been an emo in middle school but you're not emo now or you might still be emo

the only way you can know if you are something is to try it out

and if that means you use one label (like genderfluid) but then switch to another label (transgender) later on, you're not "going through a phase", you're doing somethign fundamentally important to your identity and growth

experimentation with your identity is important and you should never feel ashamed for changing what that identity is, because life is a journey and you dont need to have it all figured out before you turn 20 or 30 because some people dont figure it out until they're 60 or even 90

if you dont know whether or not something is truly for you just try to take it a step further (like getting a haircut or wearing gear or different clothe) and see if you like that, if you dont then its not for you and thats okay, if you do take another step and another and another and you might move onto something new or you might feel happy with who you are

and even if you are happy with who you are that can still change, and thats also okay!

i was so happy when i identified as genderfluid and im also still super happy now that i identify as transgender

be yourself, unforgivably <3

[ricciardosheart]

I dont want to ruin your career - CL16

summary - (y/n) is pregnant and does not want to tell Charles Leclerc she is pregnant and starts to stay away from Charles and tries to break up with him because she knows he would not be able to help with the child and she does not want him to be guilty of that

pairing - charles leclerc X f reader

warnings - angsty, and fluff ending and mentions of pregnancy

authors note - I cried like balled my eyes out when I wrote this I was in the ovulation phase, women you can understand,please read at your own discretion, not proofread, this is part one

Amid the glitz and glamour of Monaco, (Y/N) stood in the dimly lit living room, her heart racing as she gazed at the ultrasound image in her hand. The soft glow of the city outside cast a bittersweet hue on her tear-streaked face. She knew that this moment would forever change her life and the life of the man she loved.

Charles Leclerc, the charismatic F1 driver, had captured her heart with his charm and passion. But now, as she held the proof of their love in her hands, a sense of apprehension gripped her. She knew the sacrifices he made for his racing career, the countless hours he spent away from home, the demands that would only intensify with time.

Days turned into weeks, and the truth grew heavier on her shoulders. Unable to shake the anxiety that gnawed at her, (Y/N) withdrew from Charles, avoiding his calls and creating distance between them. She believed she was sparing him from the burden of her secret, from the guilt that would inevitably come from being torn between his dreams and the reality of fatherhood.

Yet, on that fateful night, as the Austin Grand Prix roared through the television screen, (Y/N) knew she could no longer hide. She stood in the center of their shared apartment, her suitcase packed, her heart aching.

The door clicked open, and Charles walked in, exhaustion etched across his face. "Hey," he greeted, his smile fading as he noticed the suitcase. "What's going on?"

(Y/N)'s voice trembled as she looked into his eyes, unable to meet his gaze for long. "Charles, we need to talk."

He stepped closer, concern furrowing his brows. "What's wrong, (Y/N)? You've been distant lately. Is something bothering you?"

Tears welled up in her eyes as she finally confessed, "I'm pregnant, Charles."

Silence hung in the air, the weight of her words echoing between them. Charles stared at her, his expression a mixture of surprise and confusion. "Pregnant? Are you… Are we going to have a child?"

She nodded, her heart pounding. "Yes. But I can't let you be burdened by this. Your career, your dreams… I don't want you to feel guilty for not being there. I'm moving out."

Charles' face contorted, a blend of shock, disbelief, and a hint of pain. "Moving out? (Y/N), no. We're in this together. I want to be there for you, for our child."

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she shook her head, her voice a broken whisper. "Charles, I love you too much to see you give up your dreams, to see you resent me and our child. I can't let that happen."

He took a step closer, his hand reaching out to touch her arm gently. "You don't have to make this decision alone. We're a team, (Y/N). Let's figure this out together."

(Y/N) pulled away, her resolve trembling. "No, Charles. It's not fair to you. I can't let you sacrifice your dreams for us. I won't."

His voice grew softer, filled with desperation. "And what about your dreams, (Y/N)? What about the life we've planned together?"

She turned away, unable to meet his eyes. "I'll find a way. I'll go back home to Monaco. I'll raise our child with my family's support. But you need to focus on your career."

Charles stepped forward, his voice tinged with frustration. "You're making this decision for both of us without even giving me a say. (Y/N), I want to be a father. I want to be a part of our child's life, and I want to be with you."

Tears fell freely as (Y/N) met his gaze, her heart aching at his vulnerability. "I know you say that now, but as time goes on, the pressure will only increase. I don't want you to regret staying with me."

His expression softened, his voice gentle. "I won't regret it, (Y/N). I would regret not being there for you, for us."

Weeks turned into a painful blur, (Y/N) moving out of their apartment, the distance between them growing as she avoided places she knew Charles would be. She built walls around her heart, believing it was the only way to protect both of them from the challenges ahead.

But as days turned into nights, loneliness crept in, and she found herself yearning for the familiar warmth of his embrace. Then, one evening, a knock echoed through her quiet house in Monaco.

(Y/N) opened the door to find Charles standing there, his eyes searching hers. "We need to talk," he said, his voice firm.

She hesitated, but finally stepped aside to let him in. They settled in the living room, facing each other with a mixture of tension and longing.

"Tell me the truth, (Y/N)," Charles demanded. "Why did you hide from me? Why did you try to push me away?"

Tears welled up in her eyes as she met his gaze, her voice trembling. "I was trying to protect you, Charles. I didn't want you to feel trapped by responsibilities you weren't ready for. I didn't want you to be burdened by guilt."

His expression softened, his eyes filled with empathy. "You were willing to give up everything for me?"

She nodded, her voice barely audible. "I love you. I didn't want you to resent me or our child. I wanted you to have the life you've always dreamed of."

Charles reached out, his hand cupping her cheek, his touch gentle. "And what about the life we've dreamed of together? (Y/N), I should have been there for you. I should have supported you."

Tears streamed down her face as the weight of her decisions crashed down on her. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting you."

He pulled her into a heartfelt embrace, holding her close. "You don't have to do it alone. I want to be here for you, for our child. I want to be a father, and I want to be with you, no matter the challenges."

(Y/N) clung to him, her heart finally giving in to the love and the support she had denied herself. As their tears mingled, the walls that had separated them crumbled, and a sense of hope blossomed in their hearts.

In that moment, they realized that love was about facing challenges together, about being vulnerable and open to each other's struggles. Charles had come to understand (Y/N)'s motivations, and he felt a deep sense of regret for not being there for her during her time of need.

Their journey was far from easy, but they faced it as a united front, supporting each other through the highs and lows. Their love, once tested by distance and fear, now stood stronger than ever, ready to weather any storm that came their way.

[fatgothgf]

im soooo fucking glad i found my soul mate in a way where she saw me grow from a weird sad perverted little fat girl to an old grizzled perverted fat man

i have never once had to hide any part of myself from sav, she followed me on tumblr through my mental health crises, she had my private vent account tweet notifications on while i was trying to rebuild my life afterwards, she saw every flaw because i posted every flaw and she cared to read it

and after like a decade of that, just being mutuals online, admiring each other and talking occasionally bc we had a lot in common and we grew up on the same side of the internet. the moment she is single this woman orchestrates me falling in love with her like some sort of beautiful sick manipulation game. this is a compliment! i knew it was happening and i was a willing participant. but she had like, phases deployed. she thought this through. and acted upon it. and now we're still here years later and i have only fallen for her over and over and over again

i guess what i'm saying is like.. i never saw myself as a very high value partner. i figured no one was ever gonna go outta their way to get me into their life, cuz i'm sad and i'm fat and i have 2 genders that i dont wanna pick from. i posted too damn much on the fuckin internet instead of doing shit in real life. and the most beautiful and kind and fucking hilarious woman in the world plucked me off this website like a ripe plum and devoured me like i was the last piece of food on earth. and i covet her in the exact same way.

now instead of posting every single thought i have to twitter or tumblr they go straight to her and in return i get 20 min voice notes about her sims 4 gameplay that involves our fictional descendants

you can be flawed in any conceivable way and there will still be someone that accepts every single detail of it and actively ask for more. stop selling yourself short

[alwayscorvus]

i have no idea whether or not you take request but ill just shoot my shot ( if u dont take reqs, its a-okay, you can just ignore this)

but if you do, would it be fine for me to request a fic with reader x werewolf!yuanwu ( too late for Halloween? perhaps, but its never a wrong time to enjoy some good supernatural stuff) and something about transformation and discovering about yuanwu's condition ( you dont have to rigidly follow this one, you have full creative freedom over this one)

im currently going insane w the lack of yuanwu content and my brain decides to make me more feral by giving an idea for werewolf!yuanwu <`3

Bittberry Tea

malereader x werewolf!Yuanwu, fluff;

one thing for sure, we both have a great sense of timing when it comes to "Halloween" vibes. I take requests but just hardly ever have time to write them (I mean... I have time for writing just not for translating it later...). So maybe u already forgot about your Yuanwu's phase... Still thanks a lot for it!

even if its not the best, it's probably the longest post i have ever written... and I will try to never make the same mistake again, so enjoy!

Sometimes changes in life weren't as bad as they might seem. Sometimes they opened up a doors for new opportunities.

Or at least that's what your father always said.

That's why when you had to move back to Jinzhou in order to take charge of family business, you weren't really bothered. After all, you had always been prepared for such a turn of events. You went on a trip around the world, met true masters in their fields and gained a knowledge in subjects of tea brewing and herb gathering, just because of that. Also, your father was getting older and his condition didn't really allow him to continue his work.

Time to use your hard-earned skills and expand Liuxian Teahouse's business by opening up customers to a new exotic flavors, has finally come.

But of course, road to success couldn't be too easy. And your enthusiasm was bound to run into a wall called "reality". That definitely chilled your father's dreams. Maybe your traditional teahouse wasn't going to rack and ruin, but for the past decade it clearly didn't live up to its potential in gaining more popularity. And you were the one who was supposed to change that. However, your customers didn't really seem to follow this vision. They were terrified of trying anything new. But surprisingly, you weren't completely taken aback by their attitude and still tried to convince them to new flavors and techniques.

Especially one particular person. Which was stubborn like no one else. And which, despite many attempts, never gave up in sticking to their old habits.

When you returned to Jinzhou, staff introduced him to you as a regular customer of your tea shop. Technically he was there first and that gave him a big advantage over you. But in the end, precisely because of that reason, you couldn't let him win.

How could a person who saw you almost every day miss out so much by closing themselves on only one solution?

-Yuanwu - you announced in an anticipating voice at the sight of a newly arriving customer. Almost feeling happy with the idea of your victim finally getting caught into a trap.

Man looked at you with slightly frightened eyes. He really hoped that he wouldn't find you behind a counter today.

Or let's be honest… it was a lie.

Subconsciously, he really wanted to see you. After all, he started coming here more often precisely because of you. Not like before; once or twice a week, but for the past six months almost daily. Just to see your warm smile and exchange a few sentences about how he was doing. He didn't feel the need to talk about himself. If he did, he always had a plenty of people in his gym that he could burden with his thoughts. Yet, he didn't. The only reason why he was getting out of his comfort zone was your charming voice… As soothing as a warm coat on an icy night, as hot as freshly brewed tea and as refreshing as a breeze of spring. Combination that Yuanwu loved and that he could listen to over and over again. Even if it was limited to just few simple answers, winks and snorts of laughter. Oh, how much Yuanwu would give to be able to hear more. Especially about you. Curiosity got the best of him.

But not today. Not during this period. Especially when this was getting closer.

-You weren't here yesterday -you pointed out correctly, trying to let his guard down- A tough fight?

You referred to this tournament that Yuanwu's gym had recently held while rolling up your sleeves to slowly get down to brewing his tea.

Man only mumbled at this with a nod. He really was exhausted. This season was seriously giving him a hard time, and this responsibilities that he had added to himself weren't really helping. But at first, he thought they would be the perfect solution to occupy his thoughts and give him a great excuse to not visit you until everything would be resolved. And while he actually managed to act wisely yesterday, today his instincts didn't let him. And brought him right at your door. Yuanwu hated that, it made him act completely like not him. He became hyperactive and relied on raw force as if in his teenage years. But he couldn't help it, even his calm approach wasn't able to overcome this urge. Before he could even think about it, he was already sitting on a stool at your bar.

Yuanwu scratched himself intensely behind his right ear. Place where his fedora unpleasantly squished his head began to itch heavily again. This time a habit that he also hated. Though maybe not so much, because it always made you smile. And although it involved a great amount of embarrassment (which Yuanwu had no intention of showing on his stoic face) nothing excited him more than your laugh. He really couldn't understand where this feelings were coming from, but ever since he saw you for the first time, some strange force had been pulling him persistently towards you. Exactly like you to him.

You secretly glanced at him with tenderness. Despite his age, proud aura, bulky body or even beard itself, you couldn't deny that sometimes Yuanwu reminded you of a big puppy. Even if he evoked fear and awe in others, there were some certain adorable slip-ups that he made. Reactions of excitement when you agreed with him or sad pouts when he found out that he wouldn't see you for the weekend. All those little gestures unnoticeable at first glance that didn't let you dismiss this thought.

Yuanwu took his fedora off and placed it carefully on the wooden countertop, not far from his hands, which he intertwined together just a seconds later.

He looked in your direction and swallowed his saliva heavily. Seeing your arms exposed to your elbows and your veins tensed from precarious job, Watching your exposed arms and veins, tensed up from precise job, made something unpleasantly swirl around in his stomach. Your focused gaze and carefully thought-out movements while crushing the leaves didn't help either. Your elegance in performing of such a simple tasks was breathtaking. Your movements were so smooth, as if you had done it thousands of times before. And Yuanwu didn't doubt that this could be the case. You were so dedicated to your work that man didn't allow himself to question your passion for your profession or years you had dedicated to perfecting yourself. Yuanwu greatly admired your devotion.

But wait a minute. Something wasn't right. Man looked suspiciously at the stickers of a boxes that you had just used.

-I will have a Bittberry Tea- he warned right away, and you sighed in resignation.

-Fine - you gently lifted one corner of your lips, more amused than offended at the idea of being caught red-handed.

You definitely weren't trying to secretly sneak the other tea.

Or maybe you did.

But at least you didn't have any bad intentions!

And Yuanwu knew this very well. And after all this attempts in convincing him to try something new, he would have agreed to go along a long time ago. After all, he was already too old for such pestering and this types of games were too tiresome and tedious for him. But if the case involved you... Man just had to admit that he was fond of your attention. And thanks to this tea he was gaining a lot of it. If he gave in, your little play would stop and he would lose the only excuse he had to pique your interest.

Or at least that's what he thought.

-By the way… I was just wondering… -you turned your back to Yuanwu as if looking for a new cup, but in fact slightly embarrassed by your sudden boldness- This Saturday there is a full moon and... -your hand froze in a mid-air- I know a great place from where you can see the moon perfectly. Weather hasn't been good lately, but now it's supposed to be suitable for night walks - word by word you quickened your pace, trying to have this stressful moment behind you as soon as possible- when I was still a teenager I loved to stay there and admire the moon for hours. Maybe- Just maybe-… - you turned rapidly towards Yuanwu- you would like to go there with me?

Man looked at you with wide-open eyes. Almost as if he saw a ghost.

You smiled awkwardly. You just screwed up.

How could you even think about having a chance with someone like Yuanwu?! Let's be honest, after all, someone like him was bound to already have a partner. Even if he didn't brag about it. And if not. You were a simple tea seller, while he ran the most respected gym in all Huanglong. You were out of his league. He wouldn't even look at you.

While you felt a mental breakdown. Yuanwu gently slid down on his stool and with an sudden “excuse me!” ran out of a teahouse.

You watched with resignation as his figure disappeared behind a slightly glazed door.

This clearly wasn't the best moment.

It's a good thing that tea makers weren't required to be overly intelligent. Because, if your father had seen you just now, he would have definitely disinherited you from the rights of your family business.

Did you, in your foolishness, choose to talk to Yuanwu and try to repair your not even developed relationship, after he didn't show up at your place for the past three days? Yes. And was it a good idea? Absolutely not.

But something deep inside you told you that you couldn't let it go just like that. Over the past few months, you had grown used to seeing this gray-haired man who decided to reveal his vulnerability to you. And you couldn't imagine ending things like that. Without any answer. That wasn't even in Yuanwu's style.

Anyway, you hoped that even though he didn't reciprocate your feelings he would at least agree to remain as your friend. After all, you didn't even declare anything.

Anyone could have gone on a night walk in the moonlight… Right?

You didn't find him at the gym. You didn't find him at home. You felt a sense of resignation, but only for a moment. Yuanwu's kind neighbor gave you an idea about his potential whereabouts. Although she didn't know him very well, as he rarely talked about himself, she was a great observer. And a bit prying by the way… She couldn't help but pay attention to his enight escapades. Especially since he always came back from them pretty bruised. As if he had drunk a lot and run into a wrong company. And everyone thought that he was such a well-mannered gentleman! Such lies couldn't spread on neighbor's watch. She wasted a couple of evenings, but it was worth it -or at least, that's how she bragged.

Looking carefully through the window, she finally came to a conclusion. Surprisingly, man wasn't sneaking to a bars but somewhere out of town. She had probably hoped for something else. Because this rumors didn't sound as spicy as they might have. But at least she learned some of the truth that was unknown to others. And if it weren't for her old, sick legs that slowly refused to obey her, she would certainly have known more of it.

Not really bothered by older woman's remarks, you focused on Yuanwu himself and headed to a pointed direction. It was getting dark outside so you wanted to find him as soon as possible.

There was only one path leading in the given way, not really awell-trodden one, but you recognized it immediately. It led to a small forest where you and your father used to collect leaves for brews. You remembered this place well thanks to a small wooden woodcutter's hut. Once... magical and cozy. Now... rather abandoned and falling.

You tilted your head to the side pleasantly surprised. There was a smoke coming from a chimney, which suggested someone's presence.

Yuanwu - you thought with hope and rushed to the door hastily knocking.

Nothing.

You repeated.

Still nothing.

Exactly as if he was hoping for you to think that no one was here and leave.

-Yuanwu, I know you are there. Please open up. Let's talk.

Silence.

You growled in disappointment and banged your fist onto a door.

-Yuanwu, please-

You whimpered.

-I won't leave until I find out why you ran out like a scalded cat. I know that we may never have gotten to know each other more deeply, but I've managed to really like you and I can't imagine us suddenly stopping talking. I can't imagine my days at work without you by my side- I-.... -you spoke pleadingly until you heard a quiet rustling.

Your eyes lit up. You took a step back.

Locks in doors clicked. Rotten planks shifted with weight.

Through a small crack you saw a wasted face of Yuanwu. Dark circles stung your heart.

-Just hurry.

He swung the door open, letting you inside.

With each of your movements, a cloud of dust rose in the air. You coughed, chasing away an unwelcome gray particles.

Finally, you were able to get a better look at him. He was hunched over and drenched in sweat. Exhausted as if he hadn't slept for a week. With his right hand, he held up a small oil lamp, and with his left, he pressed tighter to his chest a thick blanket that wrapped around him like a coat.

Yuanwu carefully put down on a small table the only source of light besides a fireplace and threw himself onto the old mattress located right next to him on icy floor.

You moved toward the windows, wishing to brighten the room with more light thanks to a rising moon.

-No!

You heard a desperate scream and instantly turned towards man.

-Just... please don't.

-O-okay?

You took slow, uncertain steps to curled up Yuanwu. You weren't sure what had just happened, but his condition definitely scared you. The only thing you thought about was helping him, but you didn't really know how.

Seeing that he wasn't reacting badly to your closeness, you crouched down and gently placed your hand on his shoulder. He shuddered. But didn't push you away. So you allowed yourself to gently massage his arm through a pile of old rags.

-Are you all right? Did someone hurt you? Just tell me what I can do to help you-

-Everything is all right. Nothing has happened. I'm just-… ill. And I need some space - he was speaking calmly in a weak voice- And about… That. Do not worry. You know that sometimes I haven't visited you for a while, but I always came back. Now I will also be back. Just not today… And maybe not tomorrow - he laughed bitterly- But the day after tomorrow I will definitely return, for you to once again try to push something in me that is not a Bittberry Tea. Everything will be the same as before. Of course, as long as you still want to keep in touch with me - he reflected.

-Of course I want to! - you protested- After all, that's why I'm here. But that doesn't explain anything-

-Good. -he smiled slightly- But now you should go. There is no time-

-What? I'm not going anywhere-

-No, really. I don't know why, but it's much worse this time-

-What's worse?

-That's-... not important! Please. Go

-No way, I'm not going anywhere until I know what this is all about

Yuanwu shuddered again. This time harder. As if some strange force threw his body. He curled into a ball and gripped his ears to cut off all the loud sounds.

-Yuanwu? -you whispered- Please, say what's-...

-Too late.

A shiver went through your spine. Something in those words and his tone made your blood run cold. But you still didn't move away. On the contrary, you covered him with your body and hugged tightly.

Yuanwu began to shuffle and pull away. But you were stronger, more desperate.

-Let go! I will hurt you - he groaned with difficulty, before his voice got replaced with loud growls and screams of pain.

Agony, as if someone was tearing him apart.

-Not a chance

You gripped him even tighter. Squeezed your eyes shut and waited.

You thought it was just an ordinary convulsionof person in fever. That it would pass soon.

Until it didn't. Until his limbs began to bend in different directions. Until blankets began to tear. Until you felt rough hairs under your fingers.

Something like… fur?

You felt a punch. With a loud thump you fell on the floor. He pushed you away.

More gasps, groans. Cries in indescribable pain.

Finally, a loud howl.

You pulled yourself up, trying to sit up. You rubbed your eyes and looked ahead.

You couldn't believe in what you were seeing.

In front of you, there was a hunched over Yuanwu. Or at least someone who looked like him. He was bigger. More muscular. Naked. But not quite. His torn clothes were replaced by silvery fur, similar to his natural hair color.

You weren't sure what you had just experienced.

Yuanwu looked at you with a frightened and troubled gaze. His eyes, though currently more of a predator than Yuanwu himself, showed a fearful look. Scared of being judged.

-What-… -you quickly corrected yourself- who-…. who are you?

Yuanwu whimpered, letting out the first tears.

You ran out of breath. Why- why was he crying?

-I know that I am a monster. But please, please, can you not leave me? -he threw out pleadingly in a moment of weakness.

Who had hurt him so much to bring such a large, reserved man to this state?

-Please?

His breaking voice tore your heart.

You didn't think twice. You pushed back in a sudden surge of energy and once again threw yourself with a hug on Yuanwu. Your Yuanwu.

You didn't wait for explanations. You didn't need assurances. You didn't even think that Yuanwu could hurt you.

The only thing you wanted to do at that moment, in all this chaos, was to keep him safe.

BONUS:

Liuxian Teahouse was famous for its openness to all four-legged friends. Yuanwu knew this very well, and that's why at first he chose exactly that teahouse.

Whenever he was there he didn't miss a chance to feed his beloved cats. And each time this happened, it greatly amused you. Whenever man approached bowls, cats hissed jumped straight and ran away in a hurry. Leaving Yuanwu with a disappointed look.

However, he never gave up. Poured food to the brim and removed himself into the shadows.

Whenever he left, animals returned. And he, sipping hot tea at the bar, dreamily admired the fluffy creatures who happily ate.

In the past, you were truly fascinated with the idea of cats disliking such a kind man.

Now you knew their secret.

[aroaceleovaldez]

you're like the first blog i thought about ranting on this to but it drives me up the wall that some people treat any criticism aimed at tsats2 as being anti-ship or avoidable via just "not reading it". i dont think they realize that we're talking about a bigger issue of soulless commercialization and heavy quality downgrade of a franchise, not like. about an indie author publishing a fan book lmao

'i'll read it anyways haters gonna hate' crowd likely largely funding richard's mediocrity is sad.

I think part of it may have to do with a.) a lack of distinction in recent fandom culture between "Fandom" and "Audience" (alongside other recent fandom culture attitudes as well) and b.) so much of Rick's brand is built up exactly on parasocial behavior that a lot of fans get caught up in it. [under cut cause this got long:]

Re: The first, more recent fandom culture tends to treat "Fandom" and "General audience" as wholly equivocal. Because of this, the concepts tend to bleed into each other in a way we haven't quite seen before fandom became mainstream, and as a result we get a kind of Worst Of Both Worlds situation - a bunch of very passionate fans who have no community, create little to no fanworks themselves (only consume), and only engage at a surface level with the source material. Their only "fandom" community hub is the source material and official social media and they don't have a concept of how to exist outside it, unlike folks who are more used to older fandom culture and are self-sufficient. They have the passion and identity of classic fandom, but none of the depth, and so threats to the source material feel like threats to their community as a whole. They also just don't seem to understand that different subsections of the deeper fandom community are engaging with the material on an entirely different level, or they don't understand why they're doing that. They see no need to because they're never actually engaging with the community or source material beyond a surface level. Functionally they don't have a community. And mainstream media is actively encouraging this because it's profitable for them - they're reaping all of the rewards of fandom, minus the fact that because of the lack of actually community and support structures the entire "fandom" will only have a shelf life the same length of the source material. But at the same time this means they don't have to worry about quality or etc, because this extremely passionate side of their audience will just take anything thrown at them and it'll phase out almost immediately. It doesn't need to be good, it just needs to elicit some kind of reaction on social media. Any publicity is good publicity type stuff.

This lack of true community plus the parasocial emphasis the RR company has tends to make these types of fans double-down. Rick and co. are explicitly advertised as being both part of the "community" and integral to it. And when they've built Rick (and co) up as this moral paragon critical to both part of their identity they're very passionate about and what little of a community they have, any attack on him feels like an attack on themself. Particularly when so much of the publicity and marketing surrounding Rick right now is about his alleged activism when a lot of the criticism about him and the series is actively calling that into question with his unaddressed internalized bigotries. Acknowledging that what Rick is saying and promoting himself as versus his writing and actions don't always line up and pointing out the bigotry present in his work forces people to acknowledge and think about performative activism, which can make a lot of people very uncomfortable! It's forcing them to acknowledge "Oh, even if I'm saying all the right words and calling myself an ally, I am not immune to being bigoted if I don't address my internalized biases. My actual behavior matters." and that especially can feel like a personal attack. Especially in today's western landscape of media consumption being viewed as a moral act in itself.

I suspect this is why a lot of the retaliation against criticism of Rick and the franchise right now is "Why can't you just have FUN? You're just trying to hate for views. Don't take it so seriously! It's not that deep!" - they not only have no interest in engaging deeper in the material, but don't understand why others would, and doing so jeopardizes the foundations of what they consider the fandom. They can't fathom anybody legitimately having these criticisms (particularly not anybody who would ACTUALLY consider themself a "fan" - because their perception of "fan" is themself) because they're so resistant to digging deeper into the media/source material or the concept that anyone would for any legitimate reason (because as long as they keep it as "it's not that deep!!! it's just fun! just enjoy it you wet blanket!!!!" and take things at their word, they can feel secure in that performative aspect and not have to unpack it), and acknowledging that those criticisms exist and are valid means they have to acknowledge the franchise is flawed and imperfect, so they presume the claims are entirely superficial and the individual has ulterior motives rather than, yknow, doing what fandom does: diving deeper.

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon episode 177 spoilers and thoughts that i am a little bit late on but that's cause i was going Crazy over it and i also got like takedowns on twitter on older posts so i was like huh? wuh? but it's fine my twitter is still up, anyway this ep made me insane. and more below the cut

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tbh idek where to begin HAHA this episode was a little short but i think the art and the impact makes up for the shortness bc these panels were INSANELY good. like i love them so damn much i would use some of these as wallpapers they're sick /pos

from the top then,,, cause,,, this panel was the thumb for this ep and i was TERRIFIED OUT OF MY MIND LOL

THAT DAZED AND BLANK LOOK I WAS SO SCARED FOR LLOYD YALL I. AHHHH i was so worried that this would be a totally scary episode where they Go Through Shit when lloyd literally JUST finished the railroads sob emoji sob emoji

like fuck. this one too, this is scary to see,,, blank eyes and the cold color tones of the panel,,, the icy breaths,,,,,,, oh my god

alicia commenting too that she really can't let go of him / can't stop giving him mana or else his condition completely worsens,,, like god he is so close to death here im so . oh god

AND THEN THE PANELS OF HIM KEELING OVER. LIKE THE PACING OF THAT. INSANE I LOST MY MIND. i was kind of reading while i was on campus so i had to try to not Shout in public. it was a time

thus i am VERY glad that alicia and javier are so quick to act. maybe they talked abt this idk,,, either way. MADE ME VERY HAPPY TO SEE THEM IN ACTION!!!

LIKE LOOK AT THESE PANELSSSS THE ART THE ART,,, THE COLORS AND THE ANGLES SO MUCH ACTION IM SO HAPPY,,, look at them go!!! go go go!!!

genuinely these panels are so fucking sick . id post more but then id be posting the whole episode and i really cant go doing that LMFAOOO but seriously seriously i love the art so so much in this ep. all the movement and lines and how it flows i had a ton of fun!! i'm not that experienced w reading manhwa tbh but from what i've seen this ep's art just,,, waow,,, my type of art,,, shapes and colors and movement i can follow without getting bored / i dont end up skipping,,, COOK KIM HYUNSOO-NIM COOK!!!

AND AND AND,,, THIS PANEL OF JAVIER UP CLOSE TO THE EYE OF SUMMER,,, OH MY GOD OUCH THAT. LOOKS LIKE. IT HURTS,,, but he didn't even hesitate,,,, like i knew he was martyr levels of loyalty but wow we actually See it here bc JAVIER DUDE. U COULD BURN. TO DEATH. THIS IS DANGEROUS. THAT IS THE EYE OF SUMMER U COULD BURN and there he is getting burned but he wasn't even phased he didn't even hesitate. oh my god. javier. you MARTYR

fellas is it gay to literally risk burning to DEATH to save the life of your dearest friend and closest companion /j

like no seriously even in this panel there isn't a grimace of pain, or worry on his face. just straight determination. he's deadset on keeping this artifact still long enough for lloyd to absorb it,,, has he even thought of what he'd do if lloyd couldn't? god,,, fuck,,, loyal to the end,,, im so,,,

this just goes to show how much trust javier has in lloyd too. there's no worry there because he trusts that lloyd will get up and absorb it before anything happens. he just. Does. it's so inherent. i'm so,,, oh my god. that's so,,,,,,,,, oh my god

(and ur telling me llovier isn't canon like ARE YOU SERIOUS IM JUMPING FOR THE BEEF im making it canon)

AND THEEEN THIS PANEL (AND HOW IT PARALLELS AN OLDER PANEL OF SUHO REACHIGN FOR THE LIGHT) i yapped about it here hehe, a good number of thoughts in there feel free to take a peek at ur leisure~!

seriously this panel is so,,, god,,, like not only the parallel makes me insane but wow the shapes and colors here too. i am easily amazed clearly LMFAO but gosh idk i just really like this,,, the swirl of summer flames lashing around and javier's wings also being curled as part of the swirl, centering to a single point around the eye of summer,,, which is also similar to the older panels of suho reaching to the light bc they usually ended up also pinpointed on a single point in at least one of the panels . oh my god it just keeps going im so . AAAAHHH!!!!!

i think it's interesting too that one of the differences is that both of them are reaching, but in this panel his fingers are wider outstretched. like, suho's hand reaches, but lloyd's hand is about to grab, does that make sense? that's what it looks like to me,,, of course i'm not sure how intentional that is (it likely isn't and is just that way bc it's been so long since the original panel was drawn) but it's a nice difference to point out either way,,, he's finally reaching it

THE EYE OF SUMMER IS SUPER DUPER CUTE TOO BTW when it combined w the heart of winter and started spinning i immediately thought of this HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

maybe ill draw that later thats goofy . i also wanna see lloyd and javier doing this. LOL

AND THERE HE IS THERES MY BOY GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE THE EARTH SAYS HELLO!!! his silly lil face. god. i am unhealthily attached /hj

OH OH!! AND THE SKILL HE GOT. THE BLESSING OF THE DEMON KING OR WHATEVER. CHRIST THATS CRAZY lloyd's first thought Again being javier. i know what you are. accusatory point /lh

but seriously wow thats OP,,, idk how things r gonna go down but he's definitely gonna use that on javier once they actually get to fighting fate,,, maybe fate is literal and javier can beat it up,,, cut it down,,, idk,,, but seriously wow THATS OP IM EXCITED TO SEE IT IN ACTION!!!

and there he is,,, the silly,,, god he's so goofy,,, AND JAVIER AND ALICIA LOOKING FONDLY AT HIM FROM BEHIND IM SO,,, THAT'S SO,,, GOD,,, THEY LOVE HIM SM,,, AAAAAHHH!!!!!

(okay well actually now that i look closer javier isn't smiling but it's okay. he just got seared by the eye of summer it's only natural. there's fondness in his eyes i promise <- his eyes are like two pixels. whatever alillovier is real to me okay)

AND FINALLY FINALLY MY FAVORITE PANEL OF THIS EPISODE. PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE PANELS IN ALL OF TGED.

HE'S SMILING SO BRIGHTLY,,, THERE IS SO MUCH GENUINENESS IN HIS SMILE AND IN THIS PANEL IM SO,,, OH M YGOD,,, STOP,,, ALKDFJLSJKDFLSDF

HE LOOKS SO DAMN HAPPY I. oh m ygod. he's gonna be okay he's gonna be okay . he's alive, and he's thriving, and his closest friends saved him and they're all by his side, and his family supports him too, and he can continue living and protecting what he loves he's ALIVE HE'S ALIVE

and like i know we've seen panels of him with genuine smiles before i know, but like it's been a while since we had one as impactful and as BRIGHT as this y'know. god the soft lighting and the just. that's suho smiling through lloyd i'm so . god LLOYD IM SO HAPPY HE'S HAPPY GOD FUCK

as you can uh. see. i was having a grand ol time when i got to the end of the ep LOL

seriously seriously what a way to end an arc. /pos i'm so so happy,,, god he's alive,,, at least i think this is the end of the arc idk,,, cause the last thing is to fight fate, right? my mutual commented on this but like there wasn't really any indicator as to what comes after this,,, so i can only assume their next step is to tackle the last obstacle, fate itself,,, we're reaching endgame guys,,, i'm both excited and scared

there's also a mild worry i have of all the worthroad / helkaros stuff that is probably still happening in the background?!?! like oh god that's gonna pop up any day now. actually maybe that's what theyll face first before going toe to toe with fate,,, i'm not sure but im excited either way

i want to see lloyd and his friends and family and loved ones get their happy ending THEY'VE WORKED SO HARD THEY DESERVE IT,,,,,,,, ueueueueue,,,,

anyway,,, apologies for this post being late LMFAO i have been busy! but it's okay! tged thursday tmrw! let's see where things go,,, endgame is nigh,,, or we are already in endgame idk,,, YAHOO!!!

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

MISSION: YOU

CHAPTER 1: GIVE ME BACK MY PLUSHIE

WC: 2704

mira

he's late. even to his own break up. this is so embarrassing.

my mocha. ive been in this cafe too long, the dent in my seat starting to feel deeper. even though the doors are closed, the cold winter air keeps seeping in and the wind keeps rattling the windows. i dont even want to be outside right now.

i would have met up with him at my apartment, but i didnt want to give him a chance to talk my head all crazy. i thought about this long enough. I WONT let him talk me out of it. fuck jung wooyoung, honestly.

i stare into my mocha pathetically. if he wont show up, i'll just cry into this cup. and he'll probably send me a lame text about how he got caught up in traffic or work and just make me regret ever meeting him again.

my heart burns thinking about it. all the time wasted. nine months. it wasnt that long but i only ever dated people i really liked. even when i just date, when its over, i feel like im getting divorced. its just so...dramatic.

its going in for an hour now. i guess "we need to talk" wasnt urgent enough. maybe i should have said "im dying" and sent the address, but i dont even know if he would have been on time for that.

its simple, really. today is the day that i dump wooyoung. and its not because i want to. its just gotten to that point.

the cafe door swings open abruptly with a harsh ding of the bell. wooyoung barges in with his long black coat and grey beanie, looking around the place frantically, his eyes zeroing in on me when he finds me in the furthest booth away. somehow his walk over is slow, kind of shameless even though hes just wasting more of my time. theres a conflicted look on his face.

"hey, cupcake," he greets me with a smile that doesnt reach his eyes and slides into the booth. "sorry im late i–"

i just wave my hand to show that i dont care. "just listen," i tell him, not wanting to hear all that.

he frowns. "somethings wrong."

i feign a smile. "well arent you observant. anyway, i cant do this anymore. i'd like if we never saw each other again." i bend down to pick up a plastic bag full of all of his things and put it on the table. "this is all your clothes and jewelry that you left behind at my apartment."

"what?" woo gasps. "youre breaking up with me? why?"

i cock my head at him. "surely you're not asking me that. isnt it obvious?"

"no, this is coming out of nowhere!"

men.

"you don't respect my time, wooyoung," i say with a shrug. suddenly im the best performer ever. i cried while practicing my speech and now that he was infront of me, it was just coming out like any other debate. "i dont think i fit in your life anymore. your priorities dont include me so i'll do myself that favour and just phase out of existence."

"sweetheart, i was late like five times," he says in disbelief. "and you know why all of those times, you cant possibly think i dont respect your time. you know how busy i am."

he says five times like its so little. i dont actually know why hes so busy. he always attributes it to work but i dont even know what the fuck hes doing over there. maybe i tuned it out every single time because i was just excited to see him. but right now, i really didnt care.

"you missed my grandmother's funeral, woo," i say emptily. "you know how badly i needed you there."

"i stayed with you after, didnt i?" he asks me, his tone getting angrier. "cmon, i was with you the whole night!"

"right, and my grief just disappeared by morning."

"i told you im really busy at wo–"

"wooyoung, im a fucking law student and doing an internship for the UN, i GUARANTEE you're not more busy than me!" i finally snap.

he looks at me with fired up eyes. "so what, you're the only one allowed to be busy?"

his tone makes my calmness wither like a bone in the desert. "no, im the only one clearly MAKING TIME. i dont fucking care what your reason is. i got a B in my Advanced Criminal Procedure exam, im not going to let this eat me up and make my grades worse. so sorry, im not breaking my back to see you anymore."

he clenches his jaw, looking down at his hands. i dont know why hes fighting it. i thought he'd jump to be rid of me because of how clingy i was getting.

"so all this time together...just meant nothing," he scoffs. "its so easy for you to throw it away."

wooyoung was only my third boyfriend. which isnt a lot, but ive heard that line many a lifetime. i just sit there and stare at him.

"why couldnt we talk about this back at your apartment?" he questions me. i knew he would.

the fact that i wanted to do this many times, but everytime i couldnt even get the words out because wooyoung, against my better judgment, would seduce me out of it till i forgot i even wanted to break up with him. then he'd be the perfect boyfriend for like 2 weeks before he just went back to his bullshit again.

"because you wouldnt give me the chance," i tell him firmly. "and you know it."

"damn straight," he looks at me with an unfamiliar glint in his eyes. "and thats too bad. because you forgot chopper."

i frown, opening the plastic bag myself. fucking hell, hes right. i forgot his stupid tony chopper plushie that took up half the space on my bed.

"i can mail it to you," i say with a shrug.

"not happening," wooyoung says and stands up. "cmon, i'll drive us."

"woo, no–"

"im not letting you give chopper away to whatever university frat boy scum comes after me."

i look at him incredulously. i dont even get the chance to object. he throws money on the table for my bill and picks up the plastic bag with his clothes, then walks away carrying my bag to his car.

oh my god, i cant stand him.

***

the silence on the road is more mine than his. hes loud in his actions, looking back on the road for any other cars, sighing and rubbing his head like the world is on his shoulders, turning to look at me like its all my fault.

and here i am, and i dont know what i feel.

i cant say he was always a shit boyfriend. even when he wasnt there, he sort of...was? he made up every bad thing with something even better. but i cant look past time lost. time is all we have.

i remember when we met. and it felt like we had all the time in the world.

i was late to a practical, and he rearended me in the street. it completely fucked up my day. i got out of my car ready to fight and tell him off like the asshole he was, but when i saw him for the first time, its like i forgot my words.

"you fucking rear ended me," i snapped at him. "can you even afford to fix this car?"

"honestly, no. but keep looking at me like that, and i'll find every way in the world to make sure you smile again."

i didnt know what to say when i heard it. his first lines of what i didnt know would be our whole relationship. me pointing a gun and getting disarmed by him immediately. he could never tell what would come out of his mouth next. i always stayed longer than i should have to find out.

until i didnt care to know anymore. i guess in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.

"you're just gonna sit there and say nothing," he suddenly speaks, ripping me out of my inconvenient nostalgia. "i just wanna know...is there someone else."

my irritation spikes immediately. i can barely stand him and he thinks i'd rebound another man.

"i should ask you that, actually," i smile pettily. "working late all the time, seeing me at odd hours. finding me at strange places. you're the one who was moving weird, not fucking me."

he brakes the car on a dark road, making me jump. he turns his whole body and leans into me, giving me a bewildered look.

"you think i'd ever do that to you?" he says, shaking his head. "i gave you all of my one piece merch even after i know you havent caught up with the manga. my parents only call me to ask about you. my fucking wall is full of pictures of you. my life revolves around you, and you think i'd do that to you?"

i feel tears pressing behind my eyes, but i blink them away quickly, clearing my throat and looking away from his intense gaze.

"you did all of that, but you couldnt do the one thing i wanted from you. which was be there."

"do you think i wouldnt be there if i had a choice?"

his question hangs in the air. and i feel my throat getting thicker.

"i dont know, wooyoung. i think this has just been a lot. we dont know each other anymore. please just drive."

he scoffs again, adjusting the gear too hard. "utter bullshit. i didnt know you were the type to give up so easily."

i clench my fist. he knows i hate when he challenges me. hes just doing this to make it feel like one. that was our whole relationship. a challenge that felt good until it didnt.

wooyoung was so carefree and managed to do everything he wanted, despite real life responsibilities. it made me jealous. outside of my work, i struggled to keep friends, and having wooyoung felt like an accomplishment. it felt like there was so much i learnt from him. we were like sponges, taking everything from each other. but if his interest is gone, then i dont wanna waste my time giving anymore.

i lay my head against the window to sleep till we get home, praying he wouldnt drive shit this time around. he wakes me when we're out front, and getting my keys and unlocking the door feels like the biggest challenge in the world.

it immediately starts pouring from the sky. the rain sounds like hail. i wonder if he'll be able to drive home like this, he can barely see when its clear out. when we get into the apartment i slip off my trenchcoat and its taken from me before im even able to put it on the rack.

i turn around, seeing wooyoung putting it on the rack.

"thanks," i mutter. he doesnt say anything back.

i feel like my head is swimming. he needs to leave now.

i immediately rush off into my room, seeing the chopper plushie leaning off the bed. i meant to pack him in.

while im getting him, my eyes betray me and find all our polaroids on my nightstand.  the zoro figurine he gave me holding my stationary.

wooyoung flicks on the lamp, making me jump. i sweep my hair out of my neck, suddenly feeling nervous.

im not used to him being quiet. hes always loud, present. hard to miss.

"you're not wearing the necklace i got you," i hear him say. hes disappointed.

"it didnt match my outfit," i answer him without turning around. why am i still explaining myself?

"it goes perfectly with your earrings, actually," he tells me. hes leaned against my door frame, just watching. im frozen, chopper warming my skin against my will, indirectly comforting me. i wish i could actually keep him.

one memory wouldnt hurt, right?

wooyoung suddenly walks to my drawer, opening it and pulling my necklace out. its gold with a tear-shaped emerald pendant, because green's my favourite colour. he plants himself infront of me, putting it on for me. its slow, and agonizing. i should have known he wouldnt go out easy.

i make the mistake of looking up at him. and hes already looking at me.

his eyes are dark and telling. hes not going to make this easy. im holding my breath.

"dont do this, sweetheart," he says in a low voice. his hand cups the side of my neck, and he has the nerve to rub it tenderly. his skin is warm. "you're so cold."

his lips drift closer to mine, the space between us forming a dimension on its own. his breath is about to be shared with mine until i realize what hes doing. he kisses me before i can pull away, and once he does, its like im swallowed all over again. chopper falls out of my hands.

he doesnt just kiss me. he absorbs me. his lips are harsh and demanding–even desperate. hes taking again. im almost leaned over into the bed when his arm comes around my waist, the only thing holding me from folding over. i cant do this again. it always ends like this.

i put my hand against his chest, pushing him back. its like he wont let go of my lips. "dont start, wooyoung," i say breathlessly. "you always do this."

"you still want me," he says, not even listening to me. "you're still mine."

"shut up!" i say frustratedly. i elbow him and bend down to pick chopper up. "get the fuck out. im keeping this. you dont deserve him."

"no," he says stubbornly, holding out his hand. "give me back my plushie."

the anger rises to my head and i toss the thing at his head. "give me back my fucking nine months!"

"it was ten," he corrects me, forcing a smile.

"no it wasnt."

"im counting since the day i met you."

i look at him incredulously.

"you havent said sorry even once," i explode. "for any of the inconveniences, for being late. you fucking late TODAY. and i still dont get an explanation, what do you take me for?"

"its shit you wouldnt care about!" he says back with the same tone, like HE has something to be angry about. "im here now, mira. im sorry, i really am. i didnt realize how bad its gotten. but i'll try harder, i promise. havent i always made it up to you?"

"i dont want you to make it up to me, i want you to GET IT RIGHT. listen to me, listen to what im telling you."

"FINE THEN I WILL," he snaps. "i'll get it right. we can break up, but we're getting back together. because im not a quitter. this is just a phase, and it'll pass. i'll suffocate you like a fungus, i'll figure this shit out, i promise. and you know i dont break my promises."

now he's promising. why couldnt he do that before.

"im supposed to believe that now?" i scoff. "you're suddenly going to be perfect NOW? why does it have to get this bad before you realize how much you're fucking up."

he frowns and wipes his face in frustration. "i thought i had time to fix my shit. i didnt realize i was on a timer."

i look at him, not even knowing what to say. thats his fucking problem. he doesnt think hard enough.

"you're suffocating me," i admit, my chest feeling heavy. "everything youre doing now, its just...i just think you should go."

"but we can figure this out right?" he almost begs. "im sorry, cupcake. i really am. i hate seeing you like this."

"wooyoung, just go, please."

he picks chopper up, resigning. i wipe my tears fast so he doesnt see them, speedwalking to the door so i can let him out before i make any more mistakes. but when i go to open the door, it doesnt budge.

"what the fuck," i grunt and pull on it. wooyung comes up behind me, and i move out of the way so he can open it. but even then, it only rattles.

he goes to the window and sighs.

"its snowing outside."

"what?"

i check for myself. my cars tyres are almost halfway sunken into a white blanket, and i realize the door has to have been frozen shut. the rain pours harder by the second.

just my fucking luck.

he turns to me and i can tell he wants to be smug. hes just barely choking it down. "i guess you're stuck with me."

NEXT CHAPTER

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A/N: pleaaase dm me if you want to be part of the taglist thank you love you lovelies <3